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NARRATOR (v.o.) Once upon a time there was a king named William who ruled a large and mighty kingdom. And yet, he was sad for he was growing old and had no child to inherit the throne. Then, happily, a daughter was born… A princess. And she was given the name Odette. Kings and Queens came from all around to offer their gifts to the child. Among them was the widow Uberta and her young son, Prince Derek. It was then that William and Uberta happened upon the same idea. Derek and Odette would be brought together each summer in hopes that they would fall in love and join their kingdoms forever. But unknown to all was another plan, that of the evil enchanter, Rothbart. Odette’s birth was of little concern to him, for he was preparing to take King William’s kingdom by means of the Forbidden Arts. On the eve of his assault, William attacked and Rothbart’s powers were plunged into darkness. Despite calls for his death, the enchanter was only banished.

ROTHBART I’m not finished with you yet, William. Someday I’ll get my power back. And when I do, everything you own, everything you love will be mine.

NARRATOR (v.o.) Many feared King William too kind. But in time the threat was forgotten and all hopes turned to that not-too-distant summer, when Derek and Odette would meet.

(Cut to: Exterior, Uberta’s castle, day.)

CHAMBERLAIN Hehehe, oh, here they come, hee! [Laughter.]

WILLIAM Dear Uberta, as lovely as ever.

CHAMBERLAIN [Gasp.]

UBERTA Oh, a nest. [Chuckles.]

WILLIAM And who might this strapping young man be? Young Prince Derek, no doubt.

UBERTA Welcome to our fair kingdom, dear William. And to you, young princess. Go on, Derek. [Chuckles.] Dear, go on…

DEREK Mother!

QUEEN UBERTA Derek!

DEREK Hello, Princess Odette. I’m very pleased to meet you.

ODETTE Pleased to meet you, Prince Derek.

UBERTA Ah-ah-ah-ah!

DEREK Yuck! (v.o.) I can’t believe I’m stuck with her all summer I’ll bet she doesn’t wrestle, hunt or box

ODETTE (v.o.) He looks conceited

DEREK (v.o.) What a total bummer

ODETTE & DEREK (v.o.) If I get lucky I’ll get chicken pox

DEREK So happy you could come

ODETTE So happy to be here

ODETTE & DEREK (v.o.) How I’d like to run

ODETTE This is not my idea

DEREK This isn’t my idea

ODETTE & DEREK Of fun

(Transition to: Interior, Uberta’s castle.)

UBERTA The children seem to get along quite nicely

WILLIAM We’ll join our lands if this arrangement clicks

UBERTA My dear King William, that’s my point precisely

WILLIAM It’s such good parenting

UBERTA And politics So happy we agree

WILLIAM I think we’ve got a deal

UBERTA Derek’s quite a catch

WILLIAM This is my idea

UBERTA This is my idea

WILLIAM & UBERTA Of a match

UBERTA [Laughs.] And such fun!

(Transition: A few years later, exterior, William’s castle, day.)

WILLIAM Good heavens, child, don’t dawdle We can’t keep Derek waiting

ODETTE I haven’t packed or washed my hair And father, I get seasick

(Cut to: Interior, Derek’s room.)

UBERTA She soon will be arriving Is that respect you’re showing?

DEREK To make me kiss her hand again I swear I’m gonna be sick

(Cut to: Exterior, the docks, Uberta’s kingdom, day.)

WILLIAM One day Prince Derek will be her intended

UBERTA Splendid

(Transitions: Uberta’s castle, day.)

DEREK We’ve tried all summer but we just can’t lose her

ODETTE Hey fellas, wait up!

BROMLEY Quick, put on some speed

DEREK When picking teams

BROMLEY Or friends

DEREK I never choose her

BROMLEY You’d think she’d take a hint and learn to read

ODETTE This really isn’t fair

DEREK & BROMLEY We really couldn’t care

ODETTE Boys, it’s all or none This is not my idea

DEREK & BROMLEY This isn’t my idea

ODETTE, DEREK & BROMLEY Of fun

(Transitions: Exterior, Uberta’s kingdom)

VILLAGERS Long before they met Derek and Odette Were destined to be wedded

(Transitions: Interior, Uberta’s castle and William’s castle)

SERVANTS However anyone could see The only point on which they didn’t disagree Was that the very thought of summertime Was dreaded

(Transitions: Interior, Uberta’s castle.)

DEREK She tries to talk me into playing dress-up She’s always flirting with the castle guards

BROMLEY I think you really sorta like her, fess-up

DEREK I’d like her better if she’d lose at cards Four sevens and a ten

ODETTE I think I’ve won again

DEREK & BROMLEY Every time she’s won

ODETTE This is my idea

DEREK & BROMLEY This isn’t my idea

ODETTE, DEREK & BROMLEY Of fun

(Transitions: Exterior, Uberta’s kingdom, day.)

VILLAGERS We need a royal wedding I’d love to be invited At least we’d get a holiday to rest our ploughs and axes Someday these two will marry Two lands will be united And with some luck their marriage may result in lower taxes

(Transition: William to Uberta)

WILLIAM (v.o.) What if Odette doesn’t go for the merger?

UBERTA (v.o.) Urge her!

(Split-screen + transitions: Odette and Derek – now adults.)

ODETTE & DEREK For as long as I remember We’ve been told we’d someday wed Every June until September

DEREK (v.o.) All their pushing and annoying hints

ODETTE (v.o.) I’ve got bruises with their fingerprints

DEREK (v.o.) I can do much better, I am sure

ODETTE (v.o.) He’s so immature I see him smiling and my knees start buckling I see inside him and my doubts are gone

DEREK (v.o.) She started out as such an ugly duckling And somehow suddenly became a swan

ODETTE (v.o.) So happy to be here

DEREK (v.o.) ‘Til now I never knew

ODETTE & DEREK (v.o.) It is you I’ve been dreaming of

DEREK (v.o.) This is my idea

ODETTE (v.o.) This is my idea

UBERTA, WILLIAM & CHORUS What a good idea, such a charming and romantic notion This is my idea (This is my idea) Such a good idea (Such a good idea) What a good idea, such a powerful and magic potion This is exactly my idea Of love

ODETTE (v.o.) This is my idea

DEREK (v.o.) This is my idea

ODETTE & DEREK (v.o.) This is my idea Of

CHORUS (v.o.) Love

DEREK Arrange the marriage!

CROWD [Cheers and applause.]

ODETTE Wait!

DEREK What? You’re all I ever wanted. You’re beautiful!

ODETTE Thank you. But what else?

DEREK What else?

ODETTE Is beauty all that matters to you?

WILLIAM [Coughs.]

UBERTA Derek… What else?

DEREK I, uh… What else is there?

ROGERS [Buzzer noise.]

UBERTA [Whimpers.]

(Transition to: Exterior, Uberta’s castle, day.)

WILLIAM We tried, Uberta. No one can say we didn’t try.

UBERTA [Sobs.]

WILLIAM Say goodbye, Odette.

ODETTE Goodbye.

WILLIAM Goodbye…?

ODETTE Prince Derek.

DEREK Mother.

UBERTA Derek!

DEREK Goodbye, Princess.

UBERTA All these years of planning… Wasted!

(Transition: Interior, Uberta’s castle, later.)

ROGERS What else is there? She says, “Is beauty all that matters?” And you say, “What else is there?!”

DEREK It was dumb, I know.

ROGERS You should write a book. ‘How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less’.

BROMLEY Your turn, Prince Derek.

DEREK I didn’t know what else to say.

BROMLEY Oh! You lost your queen, Derek.

DEREK That’s twice in one day!

ROGERS Think! You must see something other than Odette’s beauty.

DEREK Of course I do, Rogers. She’s like… You know! How about… And then… Am I right? I don’t know how to say it! I’ll prove it to her. I’ll prove my love! Checkmate!

BROMLEY Huh?

(Transition to: Exterior, the woods, evening.)

ROTHBART Today’s the day, Willy… Everything you own, everything you love, will be mine.

(Cut to: Interior, William’s coach.)

WILLIAM I – I just don’t understand… What else did you want him to say?

ODETTE I need to know that he loves me for just being me.

GUARD (off-screen) Whoa! Whoa.

WILLIAM Stay inside, Odette.

(Cut to: Interior, Uberta’s castle.)

DEREK It’s King William’s captain!

GUARD We… We were attacked. A Great Animal…

DEREK Odette!

ROGERS Derek! Wait!

(Transition: Exterior, woods, evening.)

DEREK Odette! Odette? Odette! Oh! King William…

WILLIAM Derek… I…

DEREK Who did this?

WILLIAM It came so quickly… A Great… Animal.

DEREK Where is Odette?

WILLIAM Listen to me, Derek. It’s not what it seems. It’s not what it seems.

DEREK What’s not? Where is Odette?

WILLIAM Odette is… Odette is… Gone.

DEREK Odette!

(Transition to: Exterior, Swan Lake.)

ROTHBART Now don’t let my little spell make you sad, Odette. It doesn’t even last the whole day. As soon as the moon comes up… And that’s how it works, every night. You have to be on the lake, of course, and when the moonlight touches your wings… Now look Odette, this sort of thing doesn’t give me any pleasure. Well, maybe a teensy bit. But what I really want is… Is your father’s kingdom.

ODETTE Take it, then! You have enough power.

ROTHBART Nah, tried that already. Once you steal something, you spend your whole life fighting to keep it. But if I marry the only heir to the throne… We’ll rule your father’s kingdom together, legally, King and Queen. You know?

ODETTE Never!

ROTHBART Where are you going? As soon as moonlight leaves the lake you turn back into the swan. No matter where you are.

ODETTE [Cries.]

(Cut to: Exterior, the grounds of Uberta’s castle, day.)

ROGERS The musicians are not happy.

DEREK I know, but I have to practice.

ROGERS Oh, no complaints here. I think it’s going to be loads of… Fun.

DEREK The Great Animal is never going to give her up without a fight.

ROGERS You’re not still thinking she’s alive?

DEREK When I find the Great Animal, Rogers, I’ll find Odette.

ROGERS Oh Derek, you’ve looked everywhere. She’s not coming back. The whole kingdom knows it.

DEREK The whole kingdom’s wrong. Odette’s alive, and I’m gonna find her. You ready, Brom?

ROGERS No peeking! Animals, assemble!

MUSICIAN 1 Lord Rogers, I must object. We are musicians!

ROGERS The servants have the day off. We have to use someone.

MUSICIAN 1 But I’m an artist! Not a boar.

ROGERS Could’ve fooled me.

DEREK C’mon guys, they’re harmless.

MUSICIANS We are a band And not a band of animals This masquerade

MUSICIAN 2 (BEAR) Is more than I can bear

MUSICIANS There goes my reputation It's awful, this humiliation

MUSICIAN 3 (LION) And I've the lion's share

ROGERS Down on all fours, please, and growl ferociously! Liven it up a bit! I want you to strike fear into my heart.

WESLEY (RABBIT) [Roars.]

ROGERS Not you, Wesley, you’re a rabbit, for heaven’s sake. Archers! Ready. Set. Go!

WESLEY (RABBIT) [Chuckles.]

MUSICIAN (FOX) Duck!

HANS (DUCK) Yes?

WESLEY (RABBIT) [Chuckles.]

MUSICIAN (BEAR) Duck!

HANS (DUCK) What?

UBERTA & COURTIERS Day after day all the prince ever does Is practice, practice, practice

UBERTA Thinking of her and the way that it was

COURTIERS Practice, practice, practice

HANS (DUCK) He’s not happy ‘til he has attacked us

ROGERS Twelve seconds!

NOBLES Day after day all the prince ever does Practice, practice, practice Thinking of her and the way that it was Practice, practice, practice

MUSICIANS If we had refused he would have sacked us

ROGERS Five seconds!

MUSICIANS So we face a life of target

ROGERS Three! Two!

MUSICIANS & NOBLES Practice, practice, practice!

ROGERS Time! Animals, assemble for counting. Aha! Very good, very good. You scored plenty of five pointers, that’s for sure.

DEREK Sorry, Hans. Why don’t you take a few days off?

ROGERS Moose are worth two points. Sixteen, it’s a total of thirty-two. Ten seven pointers and fourteen three pointers, with a total of two hundred ninety-eight. Well done, Derek! Now Bromley, let’s see, for you, and zero, and zero, and uh nothing, and nil and zip. And last but not least the elusive 100-point white rabbit!

BROMLEY I believe that’s three hundred, Rogers.

DEREK Good shooting, Brom.

BROMLEY Well, write it down! Three hundred to two ninety-eight.

DEREK Oh but uh, wait just a moment, Rogers. Sorry, Brom.

BROMLEY [Chuckles.] You’re a great marksman, Derek. One of the best. But it takes more than good aim. It takes courage. That’s my forte.

ROGERS Well, then. How about a quick round of catch-and-fire?

BROMLEY C-c-c-c-c-c-catch-and-fire? You mean me?

ROGERS You’re the only one with enough c-c-c-c-c-c-c-courage.

(Cut to: Exterior, Uberta’s castle, later.)

ROGERS Are you sure you’ll all right?

BROMLEY Uh-hmm. I’m fine. I-I’m fine. Oh, too tight! Too tight!

ROGERS Oh, whoops. So sorry.

DEREK Ready?

BROMLEY R-r-r-r…

ROGERS He’s ready. Remember now, aim for the heart. Right between the shoulders.

BROMLEY Oh please, oh please, oh please…

DEREK Come on, Brom… Hold it steady.

BROMLEY Oh please, oh please, oh please… Now!

ROGERS Fifty-two out of fifty-two! Well done, Derek! Extraordinary courage, man. Just think, one inch lower and that arrow would have…

DEREK Don’t lose hope, Odette, wherever you are… I’m gonna find you.

(Transition: Exterior, Swan Lake, night.)

SPEED [Chuckle.]

JEAN-BOB Quiet! I cannot concentrate.

SPEED You’ve come up with some dumb ideas, Jean-Bob, but this one’s a doozy.

JEAN-BOB Hah! Go ahead and laugh. I’ll get her to kiss me and when she does…

SPEED When she does, poof! You’ll change into a prince. I know, I know, you’ve told me. Why don’t you just give her these flowers? These are pretty.

JEAN-BOB Hah, what, they love duds. I don’t want these flowers, I must have those. When she learns that I have risked my life for them, the kissing will not stop.

SPEED And then you’ll change into a prince.

JEAN-BOB Precisely.

SPEED Mind if I point out a problem?

JEAN-BOB I don’t take advice from peasants.

SPEED Suit yourself.

JEAN-BOB Flowers. Kiss. Concentration. Flowers. Kiss. Concentration.

SPEED Just curious, how are you going to get back?

JEAN-BOB Ah! Hurry, hurry! Move up, move up! No, not that — close! Aaaah! Grab to me! Grab to me! Hold my arm! Hold my leg! Hold my – hold it, hold it, hold it. Oh thank you, Odette. Thank you. Let me have that. Silence, you savages. Haha!

ODETTE [Gasp.] Are you all right, Jean-Bob? Jean-Bob?

JEAN-BOB Oui, oui, oui, Odette, yes, I’m all right.

ODETTE What in the world were you trying to do?

SPEED He thought that if—

JEAN-BOB Shh! I wanted to get those flowers for you.

ODETTE You’re being sneaky again, Jean-Bob.

JEAN-BOB What sneaky? You deserve a nice bouquet.

ODETTE And you deserve a kiss.

JEAN-BOB Well, all right.

ODETTE You know I’m under a spell.

JEAN-BOB But my kiss will break the spell.

SPEED Give it up, Jean-Bob.

ODETTE I can only kiss the man I love and then he—

JEAN-BOB Must make a vow of everlasting love, I know.

ODETTE And prove it to the world.

JEAN-BOB What do you think I was doing with the flowers and the alligators going chop-chop?

ODETTE Speed, make him understand.

SPEED I’m only a turtle.

ODETTE If I could break this spell I’d run to him today And somehow I know he’s on his way to me Derek, you and I were meant to be Far longer than forever I’ll hold you in my heart It’s almost like you’re here with me Although we’re far apart

(Intercuts between Odette & Derek.)

DEREK Far longer than forever As constant as a star I close my eyes and I am where you are

ODETTE Sure as the dawn brings the sunrise We’ve an unshakeable bond

DEREK Destined to last for a lifetime And beyond Far longer than forever

ODETTE Far longer than forever

DEREK I swear that I’ll be true

ODETTE I swear that I’ll be true

DEREK I’ve made an

ODETTE & DEREK Everlasting vow To find a way to you Far longer than forever Like no love ever known

ODETTE And with your love

ODETTE & DEREK I’ll never be alone

ODETTE Far longer than forever

DEREK Much stronger than forever

ODETTE And with your love I’ll never be alone

PUFFIN [Whimpering.]

SPEED You think he’s dead?

ODETTE No, it’s just his wing, I think.

JEAN-BOB Strange-looking bird.

ODETTE Poor fellow. He must be in a lot of pain. You better hold him.

PUFFIN [Whimper.]

SPEED Ready.

PUFFIN [Gasp.]

JEAN-BOB ‘Allo! This is your wake-up call!

PUFFIN A-ha! It takes more than a pair of pond folks to keep Puffin down! Hi-yah!

ODETTE Wait, I’m your friend.

PUFFIN If you were me friend, how come you have an arrow in your hand, ah, a-hah? Yes! The exact kind of arrow I have in…

ODETTE I took it out while you were laying there.

PUFFIN You mean you had a chance to kkkt but instead you pfft?

ODETTE U-huh.

PUFFIN Madam, I apologize. Me name is Puffin. Lieutenant Puffin.

ODETTE It’s a pleasure, Lieutenant Puffin. I’m Odette. Princess Odette. And these are my best friends in the whole world, Mr. Lorenzo Trudge-a-long…

SPEED Friend call me Speed.

ODETTE And Jean-Bob.

JEAN-BOB I have no friends, only servants, and they call me Your Highness.

SPEED (whispers) He thinks he’s a prince.

PUFFIN I owe ya, Princess. And I intend on stayin’ until me debt is paid.

ODETTE I don’t think there’s much you can do. He has me under a spell.

PUFFIN What? You mean a magical…

ROTHBART Your knight in shining armor has come to set you free.

PUFFIN Lemme at ‘im, lemme at ‘im… I’ll…

SPEED Chill.

ROTHBART All it takes is one little word. Will you marry me?

ODETTE Every night you ask the same question.

ROTHBART No, no!

ODETTE And every night I give you the same answer.

ROTHBART Don’t!

ODETTE I'll die first.

ROTHBART You’re really starting to bug me.

ODETTE I should think you’d be used to it by now.

ROTHBART That’s it! Just keep pushing it. But someday I’m going to boil over!

ODETTE Go ahead then! But I’ll never give you my father’s kingdom.

ROTHBART I was hoping you’d say you’d be mine. But it looks as if you need another day to think about it. [Laughs.]

ODETTE No.

ROTHBART [Laughs.]

PUFFIN Princess… Princess!

(Transition: Interior, Uberta’s castle.)

UBERTA Beautiful, simply beautiful. Soon Derek will be married and the kingdom will have a king again.

ROGERS I doubt it. Derek still refuses to be king unless he finds Odette.

UBERTA Oh poppycock! All that will change at tomorrow night’s ball.

CHAMBERLAIN They’re all coming to the ball! [Laughs.] Every princess is coming.

UBERTA [Squeals.] Oh goody, oh my. Oh, this is wonderful! You see, Rogers. One of these is bound to change his mind.

ROGERS Oh absolutely… not.

UBERTA Do not lose one.

CHAMBERLAIN Oh, no, no, no no.

UBERTA Where is Derek? Oh never mind I know where he is, working on the mystery of the Fat Animal.

ROGERS The Great Animal, Your Highness.

UBERTA Well, Big, Great. It’s large and has fur.

(Cut to: The castle library.)

WILLIAM (v.o.) Listen to me, Derek. It’s not what it seems.

DEREK What did King William mean? It’s not what it seems, of course! It’s not what it seems! Now I’ll find you, Odette.

UBERTA They’re coming, Derek. Oh! Derek, where are you going?

DEREK To find the Great Animal.

UBERTA Oh, wonderful. Just make sure you’re here tomorrow night.

DEREK Tomorrow night?

UBERTA Uh. The ball.

DEREK Mother, I… I can’t. Oh please, mother. Don’t do the lip thing. If I leave now, maybe I can be back in time.

UBERTA [Cheers.] Thank you, darling. [Laughs.]

DEREK But please, mother, don’t turn it into one of your beauty pageants.

UBERTA Oh, no no no no no. It’s just a few friends… And their daughters. I want this to be big. Every princess must have her own introduction.

CHAMBERLAIN But you said…

UBERTA Forget what I said. Now, send for the cooks and tell the band to start rehearsing! And I want four footmen for every carriage. [Giggles.] Maybe five!

(Cut to: Exterior, Swan Lake, day.)

PUFFIN Let me get this straight. You mean every night when the moonlight leaves the lake you – honk honk!

ODETTE Right. The following night, if I want to turn back into a human, I have to be on the lake.

JEAN-BOB Hmph. All she needs is a little moonlight. Me, I ‘ave to be smooched.

PUFFIN No fear. You fly to your prince, we bring him back to the lake. The moon comes up, you change into a princess and [trumpet noise], happily ever after. [Laughs.]

ODETTE How do we find him?

PUFFIN You don’t know where he is?

ODETTE I don’t even know where I am.

SPEED I bet he does.

JEAN-BOB Oh that’s a great idea. Just say, Monsieur Rothbart, I’d like to leave now, do you have a map or something?

ODETTE [Gasp.] That’s it!

ODETTE & PUFFIN A map!

JEAN-BOB [Shrieks.]

ODETTE Let’s do it! We’re off on a mission We’re tough, in good condition

PUFFIN We’re short

ODETTE But standing tall

ODETTE, PUFFIN & SPEED No fear!

ODETTE There’s danger around us

JEAN-BOB They’d hurt if they found us

SPEED Our backs are to the wall

ODETTE, PUFFIN & SPEED No fear

ODETTE ‘Cause we have all the courage we require

PUFFIN Take it from a frequent flyer

ODETTE Try your luck Our plan will fly

ODETTE, PUFFIN & SPEED No fear

ODETTE It’s hanging on the wall. In the upper chamber.

PUFFIN Odette can keep a look-out while we get the map.

JEAN-BOB We?

PUFFIN You’re not going to help us?

JEAN-BOB Oui! This plan if applied’ll Be simply suicidal You’ll be a sitting duck

ODETTE, PUFFIN & SPEED No fear

JEAN-BOB Suppose that I do this Who knows if we’ll live through this How ‘bout a kiss for luck?

ODETTE No

PUFFIN & SPEED Fear

ODETTE Our team is shy one green web-footed volunteer

JEAN-BOB No way, jose No chance

SPEED No choice

ODETTE, PUFFIN & SPEED No fear

JEAN-BOB Don’t, stop it! Stop it! Don’t!

(Cut to: Interior, Swan Lake castle.)

PUFFIN All right, quickly.

SPEED Easy for you to say. Ouch.

JEAN-BOB Whenever I have to do something quick, I always bring a turtle.

SPEED I think I pulled a muscle.

JEAN-BOB I’m gonna die! I knew it! I’m on a dangerous mission with a lame turtle! You’re gonna get us all killed!

SPEED Beat ya.

ODETTE, PUFFIN & SPEED We will take any dare That the other side’ll dare to dream up We’ll fight tough, we’ll play fair But we’re sure to win because we’ll team up

SPEED Yikes.

PUFFIN Head for the door!

THE HAG [Cackles.]

PUFFIN All right. Jean-Bob goes deep, Speed gets the hand-off. Ready?

PUFFIN, JEAN-BOB & SPEED Break!

THE HAG Huh?

PUFFIN Set. Hut hut!

JEAN-BOB I’m open! I’m open! Haha! [Gasp.]

PUFFIN Catch that map!

JEAN-BOB [Screams.]

SPEED Saved ya.

JEAN-BOB Reach!

SPEED Hey, batter batter batter.

PUFFIN Oh the crowd’s going wild!

CHORUS No fear No fear We would be fine if one of us knew how to steer

PUFFIN Get a grip

SPEED Get set

PUFFIN That’s our respect Go right

SPEED No sweat

PUFFIN And no regret We’ll land

SPEED Not yet

JEAN-BOB Oh no, not there!

SPEED Save me.

CHORUS No fear

ODETTE There’s Derek’s kingdom. When do we leave?

(Cut to: Exterior, Uberta’s castle, day.)

BROMLEY It’s a mouse.

DEREK The Great Animal.

BROMLEY [Chuckles.] A tad small, wouldn’t you say?

DEREK Yeah? Until it changes into this. An animal that can change its shape. A harmless creature approaches… Then suddenly, it’s too late.

BROMLEY You mean… You mean it could be anything?

DEREK Anything.

(Cut to: Exterior, Swan Lake, day.)

JEAN-BOB Odette, I apologize for the way I’ve been acting.

ODETTE It’s all right, Jean-Bob.

JEAN-BOB No, no. This Derek is very important to you. And all I can do is think of myself.

ODETTE Everyone does that.

JEAN-BOB Please Odette, don’t make this any more difficult than it already is. Accept my apology, please.

ODETTE Okay, I accept.

JEAN-BOB Good. Now we can kiss and make-up. [Kissing noises.]

ODETTE & SPEED Jean-Bob!

JEAN-BOB What? What did I say? What? What?

PUFFIN Ten hut! It is zero hour, troops. Odette, prepare for take-off.

ODETTE Right.

PUFFIN The rest of you have your assignments. Is everyone ready?

SPEED Ready for action, sir.

PUFFIN How about you, Jean-Bob? Jean-Bob? Highness?

JEAN-BOB Oui! I am ready.

PUFFIN Take-off!

SPEED Good luck! Have a nice flight!

JEAN-BOB Remember! If anything happens to her, I’ll have you whipped, flogged, put on the rack and then have your back legs fried in butter!

(Cut to: Exterior, forest, day.)

DEREK He’s in here, Brom. I can feel it.

BROMLEY How will you know the Great Animal when you see it?

DEREK I’ll know. Better stay close.

BROMLEY [Laughs nervously.] If you say so. Derek? Derek, where are you?

DEREK Shh, shh.

BROMLEY Oh, sorry.

BROMLEY D-d-d-d-erek. Derek? Oh-oh-oh-oh Derek!

(Cut to: The skyline.)

ODETTE We better keep an eye out for hunters.

PUFFIN [Chuckles.] At ease, Odette. I can smell a human a mile away. [Shrieks.]

ODETTE [Gasp.]

PUFFIN Where did that come from?

BROMLEY (off-screen) Derek!

ODETTE [Gasp.] Derek! He’s here!

PUFFIN You will not lose control. You will follow the plan as outlined. Acknowledge. Acknowledge! Odette!

(Cut to: The forest.)

PUFFIN Odette!

(Cut to: Another part of the forest.)

BROMLEY Oh, I’ve got you now. [Chuckles.] Don’t give me that innocent look. Change! Go ahead, change! I’m not afraid of you!

MOUSE [Squeak.]

BROMLEY [Blubbers.]

(Cut to: Another part of the forest.)

ODETTE [Gasp.] Derek!

DEREK A swan? A swan! Of course! It’s not what it seems! Just a little closer… Come on… Come on…

ODETTE Derek!

DEREK This one’s for Odette!

PUFFIN Ah, Odette! Oh, phew. Oh, oh! That was close! It’s working! Here he comes. Hey, slow down, you’re going to lose him! Slow down!

ODETTE He’s too close.

PUFFIN Too close? He can hardly see us anymore let alone – aah! Speed up, girl. Oh, that boy of yours can move.

ODETTE I told you! He’s faster than you thought.

PUFFIN Don’t worry, Odette, I’ve been taught just what to do in this situation.

ODETTE Well?

PUFFIN Uh…

ODETTE Puffin!

PUFFIN Yeah yeah yeah yeah! When the archer has you in his sights, fly into the sun and use its light. Follow me! Aha! Ah… Well, what did I tell you, Odette? Now all we have to do is stay in the sun. [Gasp.]

ODETTE [Gasp.]

PUFFIN All right! Don’t panic, don’t panic! Uh…

ODETTE [Gasp.]

PUFFIN Ah!

ODETTE Puffin!

PUFFIN Odette, hurry!

ODETTE Into the trees! We better think of something quick. Or else, we’re dead ducks.

PUFFIN (…) the old possum said, when there’s no escape, you have to play dead. Gives the right the right touch, yes? Wait ‘til I give you a ha! [Exaggerated death sounds.]

DEREK Ah!

PUFFIN Hoo! That’ll put some distance between us.

(Transition: Exterior, Swan Lake, evening.)

SPEED No sign of them yet.

JEAN-BOB I hope that petty Puffin knows what he’s doing.

SPEED Incoming!

PUFFIN Ha ha! There they are! It’s almost time, Odette. Look.

ODETTE I can’t do it.

PUFFIN Well, you have to!

ODETTE He’ll kill me, Puffin!

PUFFIN Oh… You don’t do it now, Odette, you’ve lost your chance for life.

ODETTE All right. I’ll do it.

PUFFIN Go!

DEREK What?

PUFFIN All right, come on, come on…

ODETTE [Gasp.]

DEREK Gotcha!

PUFFIN [Squawks.]

ODETTE Hello, Derek. Oh Derek, I’ve missed you so.

DEREK No one believed me, but I knew.

ODETTE You can’t stay.

DEREK Can’t stay? No, I’ll never let you out of my sight again.

ODETTE Listen to me, Derek.

ROTHBART (off-screen) Odette!

ODETTE Oh no!

DEREK Who is it? What’s going on?

ODETTE It’s him!

DEREK Who?

ODETTE He has me under a spell.

DEREK Who does?

ROTHBART (off-screen) Odette!

DEREK Let him come! I’ll—

ODETTE No, he has great power. You must go!

DEREK Then you’re coming with me.

ODETTE I can’t! When the moon sets I’ll turn back into a swan. Please Derek, you have to trust me. Go!

DEREK There must be some way to break the spell.

ODETTE Oh, there is. You must make a vow of everlasting love—

DEREK I make it? It’s all I’ve ever wanted.

ODETTE You must prove it to the world.

DEREK How? How?

ODETTE I don’t know!

ROTHBART (off-screen) Odette!

ODETTE Go!

DEREK The ball! Tomorrow night, come to the castle. Before the whole world I will make a vow of everlasting love.

ROTHBART (off-screen) Odette!

ODETTE I’m coming! Go!

DEREK Tomorrow night.

ODETTE Yes. Tomorrow night. Now go.

ROTHBART Odette! Didn’t you hear me calling?

ODETTE I… I…

ROTHBART I thought I heard… voices.

JEAN-BOB Odette. Odette.

ODETTE Voices?

ROTHBART Yes? Voices.

ODETTE Well, I — I…

ROTHBART You what?

ODETTE I’ve decided to become your queen.

JEAN-BOB, SPEED & PUFFIN [Gasp.]

ROTHBART No! You mean… Hu-huh! Odette, Odette, you’ve made me so happy. I’ll be a good king, you’ll see, I’ll wear nice clothes, and I’m going to get my beard trimmed. Oh, oh, you’ve made me so happy, Odette, oh… By the way, you wouldn’t happen to know who this belongs to, would you?

ODETTE [Gasp.]

JEAN-BOB Ah!

ROTHBART “Come to the ball?” “I will make a vow of everlasting love…” [Laughs.] Thought you could fool Rothbart, did you?

ODETTE I will never be yours! You creature! I will marry Prince Derek and you cannot stop me!

ROTHBART Oh, I hate to tell you this, Odette, but you won’t be able to attend the big ball tomorrow night.

ODETTE If you want to stop me, you’ll have to kill me.

ROTHBART No! I don’t think so. You see, you’ve forgotten one very important thing… Tomorrow night there is no moon. [Laughs.]

ODETTE [Cries.]

(Transition: Interior, Swan Lake castle.)

ROTHBART No matter what they do, I’m always one step ahead. On the other hand, Prince Derek’s vow could ruin everything.

THE HAG Aaaa!

ROTHBART I’m gonna have to deal with him… But how? The vow! I’ll get Derek to offer his vow to the wrong princess!

THE HAG Eeee?

ROTHBART That’s it! [Laughs.] I’ll make you look like Odette. Well, that’s gonna take a lot of work, but it’ll be worth it. ‘Cause when he makes his vow to the wrong girl, Odette will die, and I’ll finish Derek off myself. Oh, I love it! I mean, this is really classy… This is me! Gosh it’s such a hoot to see them quaking When I’m king they’ll treat me with respect I can’t wait to watch their poor hearts breaking So much for politically correct Up ‘til now I’ve pulled my punches I intend to eat their lunches No more Mr. Nice Guy, not for me If you think that I’m hard-hearted Well, let me by, I haven’t even started

ROTHBART & BACKUP SINGERS No more Mr. Nice Guy, no sirree

ROTHBART Soon as my witchcraft has zinged ‘em I’ll gain control of the kingdom As for Odette, well that’s tragic ‘Cause I’m going back to that

ROTHBART & BACKUP SINGERS Old black magic

ROTHBART Good behavior is so much duller Time to show my one true color

ROTHBART & BACKUP SINGERS Baby, Mr. Nice Guy’s history

THE HAG Yeah!

ROTHBART Vengeance is what I believe in I don’t get mad, I get even Odette can’t get to the ball ‘cause I won’t bring her So I’ll zap up a date

ROTHBART & BACKUP SINGERS Who’s a real dead ringer

ROTHBART Up to no good, I love plottin’ ‘Cause I’m so good when I’m rotten

ROTHBART & BACKUP SINGERS No more Mr. Nice Guy, wait and see

BACKUP SINGERS Wait and see

ROTHBART I’ll become that nasty, naughty

ROTHBART & BACKUP SINGERS Petty, spiteful

ROTHBART Wicked, wayward

ROTHBART & BACKUP SINGERS Way delightful

ROTHBART Bad guy I was born to be

THE HAG One more time!

ROTHBART Lying, loathsome

ROTHBART & BACKUP SINGERS Never tender

ROTHBART Indiscreet

ROTHBART & BACKUP SINGERS Repeat offender

ROTHBART No more Mr. Nice Guy, that’s not me Yeah!

BACKUP SINGERS Do do do

ROTHBART Thank you, thank you, thank you. [Laughs.]

(Transition: Interior, Uberta’s castle, ballroom.)

DEREK Mother have you s—

UBERTA Oh, Derek!

DEREK What are these?

UBERTA Roses.

DEREK They’re red.

UBERTA Of course they’re red.

DEREK But mom, I don’t want red roses. I want white. Like a swan. Have you seen Bromley?

UBERTA No.

DEREK Has anyone seen Bromley? Would you feed this to a swan?

SERVANT I…

DEREK Take it back. Get something light, something fresh. No no no no no, Rogers, hold it.

ROGERS What’s wrong?

DEREK Tonight the music must be played rubato, soft and graceful, like a swan.

ROGERS A swan?

DEREK Have you ever seen a swan, Rogers?

ROGERS Of course I’ve seen a swan.

DEREK If you could play a swan, what would it sound like?

ROGERS [Laughs.]

DEREK Soft and graceful, Rogers. Where is Bromley?

UBERTA No one has seen him, Derek.

DEREK You’re kidding! Who’s gonna be my best man?

UBERTA Best…? You mean? You – oh – Derek! Oh!

DEREK There you go, Rogers, that’s the stuff. Come on, mother.

UBERTA [Laughs.] Don’t be so secretive, Derek, tell me who she is. [Squeals.]

DEREK [Laughs.]

(Transition to: Interior, watery dungeon, Swan Lake castle.)

ROTHBART It hurts me to lock you up, Odette. Hurts me deep. But then, a king’s day is full of tough decisions. You understand. Oh, now you’re mad at me again. Doggone it, I can’t do nothing right! Head full of pudding. That’s me. Well, I can’t leave you like this. If you’re not happy, I’m not happy. Hmm… I know! If you can’t attend the ball, then I’ll bring the ball to you! Let’s see… the first thing you need is a young man. The prince is busy, of course, but I think I can arrange a substitute.

BROMLEY No, please, I beg you, please!

ROTHBART Oh poor fellow, he got lost in the woods.

BROMLEY Aaah! No, help! Help! Don’t go!

ROTHBART Oh, I’d love to stay but if I don’t leave now I’ll be late; that’s tacky. D-don’t give me that look, missy, had to be sneaky, didn’t you? Had to drag your weakling prince into it, didn’t you? That’s fine with me, just fine with me!

(Transition to: Exterior, Swan Lake, night.)

PUFFIN Oh!

(Transition to: Exterior, Uberta’s castle, night.)

FOOTMEN Every single princess on the planet Prayed to be invited to the ball Every Portia, Gwenevere and Janet Would come by coach or boat to be here Most would swim the moat to be here Just to be at this historic gala Girls would walk around or even crawl Rumor is that at this joyous scene tonight The prince will likely choose his future queen tonight

(Transition: Interior, Uberta’s castle.)

CHAMBERLAIN Uh, excuse me. Oh, excuse me. [Clears throat.] Excuse me, Your Highness!

UBERTA Yes, yes, Chamberlain.

CHAMBERLAIN It’s getting rather crowded.

UBERTA Very well, you may begin the introductions. And Chamberlain?

CHAMBERLAIN Yes?

UBERTA No mistakes this time! Everything must be perfect.

CHAMBERLAIN Oh no no no, oh yes, no no no, madam, everything will be p-p-perfect. [Laughs nervously.]

UBERTA Promise me, Derek, you’ll tell me who is the moment she arrives.

DEREK [Chuckles.] Don’t worry, mother, you’ll know. Believe me, you’ll know.

(Cut to: Exterior, Swan Lake, night.)

PUFFIN Ah!

SPEED What?

PUFFIN It’s coming!

JEAN-BOB What is?

PUFFIN An idea! A substantial idea! A large, colossal idea!

SPEED Sounds big.

PUFFIN I got it! Ha! Water leaks into the dungeon, right? Well, if there’s a leak, there must be a hole. We’ll find the hole, make it bigger and [explosion sound] she’s loose. [Chuckles.]

JEAN-BOB I think you’re forgetting two things. Chomp chomp!

SPEED His Majesty’s got a point.

PUFFIN Not to worry. Now, first we need a scout.

JEAN-BOB Are you crazy? Who’s going to jump into this moat?

PUFFIN He’s got to be a good swimmer.

JEAN-BOB I should say so.

SPEED And he’s got to be small, too.

JEAN-BOB Teeny weeny, not to be seen.

PUFFIN And it wouldn’t hurt if he was green, for camouflage purposes.

JEAN-BOB Precisely. Small, good swimmer, green. Good grief, you’re talking about me?!

PUFFIN You’re off on a mission You’re tough, in good condition A hero, warts and all No fear

JEAN-BOB Absolutely not! I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you!

(Transition to: Interior, ballroom, Uberta’s castle.)

UBERTA Oh, thank you, thank you, I know that some of you just abhor beauty pageants, but being a puff puff girl myself way back in 39, ah, I just could resist. And girls? A one, a two, a one two three!

CHAMBERLAIN

Beauty and glamour in breeding a match

CHORUS Princesses on parade

CHAMBERLAIN Lovely, enthralling, and all unattached

CHAMBERLAIN The hoi polloi and those well-bred agree Each enjoy a royal pedigree

CHORUS Born for success

CHAMBERLAIN Each possesses a spark Each a remarkable maid Boy oh boy, these royal highnesses All have pluses, they’ve no minuses Gaze upon

CHORUS These princesses on parade

ROGERS This princess come Colchester, where corn and cotton grows. She plays croquet and harpsichord and sews her own clothes. Antonia isn’t known to take the path of least resistance. She hails from south east Franisatan and came the farthest distance. Gruzilda lives to help the world, she finds no task too menial, and all the other hopeful girls think she’s the most congenial. Brunhilda is from Studgart, where our swords and armors’ made.

CHAMBERLAIN Gaze upon

CHORUS Princesses on parade This is the likely occasion When the heir to the throne picks a wife

PRINCESSES This may be the day when Prince Derek will say

CHAMBERLAIN “Where have you been all my life?”

PRINCESSES [Swoon.]

PRINCESSES & CHORUS Brilliant, beguiling, the smiling brigade

CHAMBERLAIN Princesses on parade

CHORUS Each the pride of her community Each a golden opportunity

PRINCESSES Just the thought that crown prince Derek’ll Face this choice and he’s hysterical

CHORUS Gaze upon, heap praise upon

CHAMBERLAIN These radiant, glamorous, luminous, dazzling

CHORUS Princesses on parade

CHAMBERLAIN [Gasp.]

UBERTA Chamberlain. All who were invited are present, are they not?

CHAMBERLAIN Well, yes, I mean, well. [Gasp.]

UBERTA Open the door! Chamberlain.

CHAMBERLAIN It’s the milkman, it must be the milkman. [Gasp.] We’ll, it’s not the milkman.

UBERTA Oh! Oh no, it can’t be! Excuse me, pardon me, could you, please, I’ve got to get through. Oh oh, yes, she’s lovely, isn’t she? Queen coming through here, excuse me excuse me. Rogers! Rogers, who is it? Do you know her?

ROGERS I don’t know.

UBERTA Come now, Rogers, I know he confides in you. Who is it?

ROGERS I promise I’ve never seen her before. Although she does look a great deal like…

UBERTA But it couldn’t be… Could it?

DEREK Oh, I was so worried… I almost thought…

THE HAG (as ODETTE) Nothing could keep me away.

(Cut to: Exterior, Swan Lake, night.)

PUFFIN Okay, Speed will draw the gators away then you’ll get a runnin’ start and make a [sound] for that hole.

JEAN-BOB If I can find it, and if the alligators don’t chew me before I get there.

PUFFIN Don’t worry. Speed will rush to help.

JEAN-BOB Ah yes, Mister Molasses will rush to help.

PUFFIN That’s the plan.

JEAN-BOB Suddenly I’m full of comfort.

PUFFIN Well, all right. Stretch out.

JEAN-BOB How do I get myself talked into these things?

PUFFIN All right, all right. To your mark.

SPEED Hey, you old leatherheads, come and get me. Come on, buckeyes!

PUFFIN Perfect, perfect. Right. Are you ready? Get set… Go! Faster, faster!

JEAN-BOB Sure, go on, Jean-Bob, race to your death! [Screams.]

SPEED Get moving, slow-poke.

JEAN-BOB Slow-poke?! Oh!

SPEED Na na na na na. Any luck?

JEAN-BOB [Grunts.]

ODETTE Jean-Bob!

JEAN-BOB To the rescue, mademoiselle!

PUFFIN Oh, there’s the signal. All right, Puffin, time to brush up on the divin’ technique. Yoo hoo! Those turtles are tough eatin’. How about a little white meat, eh? Good for the heart!

JEAN-BOB We broke through. Let’s go!

ODETTE Thank you, Jean-Bob. Oh, and when this is over, remind me to give you a kiss.

JEAN-BOB [Cheers.]

BROMLEY What, what is it? Stay away, what are you doing? No, no, get away!

SPEED I’ll tell you when. Let’s go.

ODETTE Ah!

SPEED Friends call me Speed.

PUFFIN Go Odette, go! Hoo hoo!

(Cut to: Interior, ballroom, Uberta’s castle.)

DEREK Something about you seems… I don’t know, different.

THE HAG (as ODETTE) Don’t worry. After tonight, everything will be perfect.

DEREK Yes, yes of course. Rogers, I want to make an announcement. Stop the music.

(Cut to: Exterior, Uberta’s castle, night.)

ODETTE [Gasping.] Oh!

(Cut to: Interior, ballroom, Uberta’s castle.)

DEREK Kings and queens… Ladies and gentlemen… Mother. I have an announcement to make. Today I have found my bride.

(Cut to: Exterior, Uberta’s castle, night.)

ODETTE No. Derek, no, it is a trick!

(Cut to: Interior, ballroom, Uberta’s castle.)

DEREK I present her to you as the future queen of our fair kingdom. And as proof of my love for her, I make a vow to break all vows, a vow stronger than all the powers of the earth, before you and before the whole world, I make a vow of everlasting love—

(Cut to: Exterior, Uberta’s castle, night.)

ODETTE Derek!

(Cut to: Interior, ballroom, Uberta’s castle.)

DEREK To Odette.

(Cut to: Exterior, Uberta’s castle, night.)

ODETTE No!

(Cut to: Interior, ballroom, Uberta’s castle.)

CROWD [Cheering.]

ROTHBART No more Mr. Nice Guy, no sirree! [Laughs.] Hello, little prince.

DEREK Who are you?

ROTHBART Went and pledged your love to another, eh?

DEREK What are you talking about? This is Odette.

ROTHBART No, Odette is mine.

DEREK It’s you! You have no power here. I made a vow… A vow of everlasting love.

ROTHBART [Laughs.] You made a vow, all right, a vow of everlasting death!

DEREK No! Odette!

THE HAG [Laughs.]

ROTHBART You should have left her to me. Now Odette will die.

DEREK Odette!

(Cut to: Exterior, night.)

ODETTE [Gasps for air.]

DEREK Odette!

ROTHBART (off-screen) She’s fading fast, little prince.

DEREK No!

ODETTE [Gasps.]

(Cut to: Exterior, Swan Lake, night.)

ROTHBART (off-screen) [Laughs.]

PUFFIN Something’s gone wrong.

(Cut to: Skyward, night.)

ODETTE [Gasps.]

(Cut to: Exterior, forest, night.)

ROTHBART [Laughs.] If you hurry, little prince, I’ll let you see her one last time.

(Cut to: Exterior, Swan Lake, night.)

JEAN-BOB There she is!

SPEED I don’t think she’s gonna make it.

JEAN-BOB This way, Odette!

PUFFIN Oh, keep coming, girl… Come on now.

DEREK Odette! Oh, what have I done to you? Forgive me, Odette… Forgive me.

ODETTE Derek.

DEREK Yes, Odette? I’m here.

ODETTE Derek… I feel so weak. I think I’m…

DEREK No, you’ll live, Odette. The vow I made was for you.

ODETTE I know. I love you, Derek.

DEREK Odette… Odette! Odette! I made the vow for her. [Louder] Do you hear? The vow I made was for her!

ROTHBART No need to shout.

DEREK Don’t let her die!

ROTHBART Is that a threat?

DEREK Don’t you dare let her die!

ROTHBART Oh, it is a threat.

DEREK You’re the only one with the power. Now do it!

ROTHBART Only if you defeat… me.

DEREK The Great Animal!

JEAN-BOB I’m betting on the animal.

DEREK No! I won’t let her die!

PUFFIN The bow! Derek’s bow! Swim to the bottom of the lake and get the bow!

JEAN-BOB [Screams.]

DEREK [Grunts.] [Screams.] Uh…

PUFFIN Throw it! Oh, throw it, throw it!

JEAN-BOB [Screams.] Wake up, wake up! Allo! Good luck!

BROMLEY Oh please…

DEREK Brom?

BROMLEY Oh please oh please oh please… Now!

JEAN-BOB, SPEED & PUFFIN [Cheer.]

DEREK Forgive me, Odette… Forgive me. I only wanted to break the spell, to prove my love. I love you for your kindness and courage, I always have.

ODETTE Derek?

DEREK Odette!

ODETTE Oh, Derek!

PUFFIN Well, there ya have it. Everlasting love.

(Transition to: Exterior, Derek’s kingdom, day.)

CROWD [Cheers.]

CHAMBERLAIN [Giggles.]

BROMLEY Well, Rogers, old man, I suppose you owe me an apology. After all, if it weren’t for me, the Great Animal would still be alive.

ROGERS Gasp. Dear me, no…

BROMLEY What?

ROGERS The Great Animal! It’s alive!

BROMLEY [Whimpers.]

ROGERS Uberta.

UBERTA Rogers.

(Cut to: Skyward, day.)

PUFFIN I don’t care if everyone else does have the day off. The prince wants a fighting air force and it’s my job to get you birds in shape. You’re in Puffin’s army now. General Puffin.

(Transition to: Swan Lake castle, night.)

JEAN-BOB I’m ready for my kiss, mademoiselle.

ODETTE Now don’t be too disappointed, Jean-Bob, if nothing happens.

JEAN-BOB Finally, after all these years, I shall return to my throne.

SPEED Don’t forget to write.

JEAN-BOB You still don’t believe me, do you?

SPEED The only thing you’re going to turn is red.

JEAN-BOB Well, I’m ready Odette. Voila! Well, Speed, what do you have to say now?

SPEED Uh…

JEAN-BOB That’s what I thought. And now if you don’t mind, I’ve got some schmoozing to do.

ODETTE Would you like a kiss too, Speed?

SPEED Nah. I’m happy as a turtle.

JEAN-BOB Bonjour, madam.

LADY [Screams.]

JEAN-BOB Aha! The ladies still fall for me.

(Transition to: Exterior, Swan Lake, night.)

ODETTE Will you love me, Derek, til the day I die?

DEREK No, much longer than that, Odette. Much longer.

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